“I Drowned in Moonlight Strangled by my Own Bra”

I didn’t want to do a blog post on Carrie Fisher, I didn’t want to be a public mourner, I was and am scared people will say “you’re just doing a blog post for the sake of page views”. The truth is though, I really am sad about Carrie Fisher passing away.

I met her once by chance at a convention (Dallas Fan Expo 2015); I didn’t realize who she was at the time because it was Sunday the last day of the con, my feet were exhausted, I spent a little over 300$ in three days for the first time in my life, I had just seen my former boyfriend for the first time in two years so I wasn’t in the most logical thinking mode. She was disguised with large sunglasses and a hat and I didn’t know she was short in person. I told her that her pup Gary Fisher was one of the cutest dogs every, she said thank you, and I walked away barely realizing who she was and saying to myself “shit I missed out on a free selfie with a celebrity!”

Because of this encounter, and because of four of my friends I gave being a Star Wars fan another shot. And I was happy to add this world to the number of worlds I enjoyed so much.

I could go on about my usual “woo feminism” antics that I normally do on this blog, but I’ll go on about something else. Carrie Fisher suffered from bipolar disorder, but rather than suffer from it, she learned to conquer it and let many people who live with mental health issues that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Something I wish I had known as a teenager who suffered from anxiety attacks and didn’t know who to talk to about them, or that my condition even had a name, or that it could have been treated beyond being told “it’s all in your head.”

She was awesome, witty, she had brains that came along with that pretty face and didn’t give two shits about losing her youth, beauty and gaining weight as she got older. She was someone who gained the ability to make peace with her past and embraced the future without fear and in place of that fear, joy and eagerness to see what tomorrow had to offer.

Yes I will mourn her both as Carrie Fisher and as General Leia Skywalker, but with this sadness I see a goal and a woman to look up to, who despite being born into wealth had her own life struggles and conquered them with wit and intelligence.

Thank you Carrie, even though things seem dark, scary, and sad, learning about you and your life gave me, and hopefully others something to look forward to in life and hope that our own mental struggles can be conquered (with little dogs too).

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s